As this Year Comes to a Close

As this year comes to a close I have been thinking back and reviewing what has happened in the last 365 days. How does one measure the success of a year? Will any one look back and say, "2012, that was a really good year."? I think I will. This year has brought a lot of things including: stress, anxiety, physical and emotional pain, fear, challenges, tears, hugs, new friends, goodbyes, change, happiness, adventures, hard work, learning, strength, determination, increased faith and a whole lot more.

Who would have thought one year ago today that I would have my mission call, that I would have already done 2 semesters of college and that I would have moved 4 times? I can't say I expected everything that has happened. But I can say I've enjoyed every second of it. I look back on 2012 and smile because it really was a good year. With everything that has happened in the last 365 days I have learned that life is good. Life is really good.

So, I want to say thank you to everyone who played a role in this last year. It doesn't matter how big or small the role you played, I'm grateful that you played it.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

"Wherever You Will Go"

While listening to the song "Wherever You Will Go" I realized I had something to blog about. Here it is. 

You know, sometimes I wonder how something as small as one decision can change so much. Recently I was faced with the decision to leave Utah State or pay the tuition for which I didn't have money. I thought about my options, I prayed, and I made a decision.

This decision took all of about 10 minutes (there were several possibilities). I then went out and told my roommates that I was officially moving out. The more and more I talk about it the more I realize how right it is. Now, here is what is changing.

This decision caused me to lose two wonderful jobs. One of which was a job that is what I could be doing as a career. I gave up my calling. I gave up an 18 credit schedule. I gave up my place to sleep. I gave up all the friends I have met over the last few months. And I gave up that calming peace of having a plan.

Now, I have to find a job, find a place to live, move out in at most a week, and wait for the hand of God to lead me to where I need to go.

It's a little nerve racking but I wouldn't want it any other way. I love challenges in which God can show His power and work miracles, because He always does.

So, now I'm sitting in an almost empty room, I have boxes stacked up on the floor and my shelves and drawers and quite barren. I am excited to see how this all goes.

I hope that God will be with me wherever I will go.

This Is Real

I was sitting in my Institute class and I was pondering the goodness of God because He has been so merciful to us. If we will just look for His goodness it will be manifested unto us. It was during that when I realized something. I realized that this is real.

Now, what is "this?" This, in short, is the Church. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This is real because it is true. The Church is true because it is the church with the authority of the priesthood. But what makes it real? Once one has already gained a testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel and of the Church, one must gain a testimony of its reality.

The reality is that God really lives. He has a body, He feels, He sees, He knows. We are made in His image. We are His children. He loves us. Knowing this brings a whole new meaning to prayer. Because we are talking to a perfected Being who really hears and listens.

Prayer is truly one of the greatest gifts given to man. We have been given the gift of prayer so that we can speak to our Heavenly Father. We have been commanded to pray always. How incredible that is that we can truly have God listen to our thoughts, our worries, our joys, our gratitude. He wants to hear it all.

Along with this confirmation that God is real, I realized how wonderful the scriptures are. The scriptures are the His word. I can tell story after after story of when a scripture has been sent to me or to a friend that was an answer to a prayer, or that offered the comfort needed to get them through a challenge, or that has encouraged faith and patience. I have received great blessings from reading the scriptures and God has promised us all wonderful blessings. But not only are there blessings attached, in the scriptures we can find answers to our prayers. We can truly find the answers to any of life's questions.

I have learned for myself that these things are true. That's great for me, but it does nothing for anyone else. We need to pray to gain this confirmation,  pray that the Spirit will help you understand the Father and the Son, pray and ponder what you know and record what you learn.

This is real, I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Beauty of this Life

I love life. What a wonderful world and a wonderful time we have to live in. Around 7 a.m. this morning I was walking to campus for my on-campus job. The air was cool and crisp and the road was quiet. I had been planning on riding my roommate's scooter in order to get to work faster, but it felt right to walk. So, I walked.

I walked down the sidewalk that runs right next to the cemetery, while walking I couldn't help but look around and see the clouds and the moon. The moon was shining so bright on the clouds around it that one could see a rainbow reflecting off the clouds. I enjoyed the thought that the moon is only a reflection of the sun, as are we. I continued to walk through the peaceful morning air, but something was different about this walk.

I wasn't walking at my normal "I'm in a rush" pace. I was walking slowly, purposefully. I looked at the stars and pondered the numberless worlds that were above me. The lives that were being lived, the challenges that someone else was facing, the happiness that someone else was experiencing. It helped me remember that life is so small and my worries are so insignificant to the big picture. But even though my worries are small, He still knows them.This was a wonderful, refreshing walk that helped me renew my appreciation for the beauty of the earth.

Do we take enough time to admire the beauty? Do we take enough time to remember those feelings that can't be recorded? Recently I have become a fan of taking pictures. I love seeing what I can capture on the image card of my camera. These pictures are sometimes beautiful, and other times they are just ordinary. However, each one brings back a feeling of peace and wonder. There have been times when I've wanted nothing more than to take a picture of a beautiful scene in order to remember the moment, but I knew that I would be unable to. It is at these times that I tell myself the best pictures, the most beautiful scenes and feelings will never be recorded by my camera.

There will be no camera that can see the joy I will feel when I get my mission call; there will be no video camera that can replay the feelings that came on my baptismal day. There is beauty that can only be felt, never touched, or taken, and only recorded with inadequate words.

That is one of the challenges we face on this earth. Not being able to express what we are feeling. How can someone express how happy they are with words? One can only feel happiness. As I talked on the phone to a friend I could hear the happiness in their voice, not in the words that were being said, but how they were said.

So, what am I trying to say? I'm trying to express, with words, the feeling of gratitude and wonder I have towards the beauty of this life. I may not have the best diction in the world, but I can pray that you will take the time to walk a little slower and look into your past and re-feel those things that have changed your life. Re-feel the happiest moment, the most tender, and the most wonderful.

Life is so incredible, please don't let it pass you by without noticing, and maybe even recording, the beauty. 

The strength to strengthen

Life is so fragile. In a matter of seconds everything around us can come crashing down, and the worst part of that is that some of our closest friends will never know. In the middle of my senior year I prayed for a challenge, and I got it. I found myself feeling alone and unhappy. There was no hope left in my life. I would walk the halls of the high school and say hello to hundreds of people and I still felt like I didn't have a single friend in the world. I could sit with my best friends and feel empty, and alone.

Sure, that was hard. But the hardest part was that I had friends who never said anything to help. There was one person who realized that something was wrong and wanted to fix it. And I refused the aid.

Another time a friend of mine was going through some hard things, I offered to give this friend a priesthood blessing or a father's blessing, as most people call them. I could tell this friend was in need of help, even divine help, but my friend politely turned down the offer and continued to fight the battle on her own.

So why do we do this? Does it really hurt us so much to ask for help that we are afraid to even show a sign that we might be in need. We have people all around us who are so willing to help but we refuse their aid thinking that we are strong enough.

I can promise that I am not strong enough. I plead on my knees every morning for the strength to be able to do all that lies before me. I have tried to live life on my own, using the power of my own two hands. It is difficult, unrewarding, and it made me miserable.

But on the other hand, a day with help from Above is a day full of accomplishment and growth. Usually, the accomplishments are not easy and require us to try a little harder, but that is how we grow. I know that there is Someone who can and will always help me. I know that He knows exactly what I need each and everyday.

I was writing in my journal last night and I reflected on how many lives I had touched and brightened in one day. One person can change so much in the world with a smile, a text, a conversation, or even just by being there next to that person. I was happy to know that I am doing good in the world but at the same time I became incredibly grateful for the strength that allows me to do that.

God has a plan for me and for each one of us. He wants me to help His children, and I doubt He wants anything much different than that from the rest of us. So, let's pray for help so that we can help those around. Seek counsel from God and then your friends. Don't be afraid to ask someone you barely know if they need help with something. You never know how much they are struggling on the inside. There are few things more rewarding than looking back at the end of the day and knowing that you helped people because He was helping you.

"So, when life gets dark and dreary, don't forget to pray." Hymn 140

Life Changes

This has been quite the week at my apartment. On Tuesday someone on the fourth floor in my building shot a fire sprinkler and flooded 6 apartments and the lobby. Then on Wednesday one of my roommates  made the decision to drop out of college and go back home, so he did. These two moments helped me remember how small homework and personal possessions and college really are. When major trials come into our lives they help put things into perspective. That perspective that is otherwise easy to forget. It gives us the chance to step back from our normal worries and be grateful for everything that we have been given. Life changing moments happen in a split second but changing our lives takes the rest of the time. So, let's be grateful everyday when we wake up because each day is empty and can be filled with good deeds and gratitude. Life is so good, so let's enjoy the blessings that we have.

In French or En français?

Well, here I am, sitting on my couch doing French homework. I started studying French when I was a Freshman in high school. My teacher was Mr. Johnson, and because of the way he taught I decided to take French instead of Spanish. Now, I'm starting my fifth year of French studies.

So, why did I choose French (besides Mr. Johnson)? Well, I wanted to push myself. I wanted to take a language class in which I would actually learn that language. I got my desire. My French teachers have always pushed me to be better and have allowed me to do things that most students wouldn't. My high school teacher, who we called Madame, found out that I wanted to take French five my senior year. At the time I was a sophomore and currently in French 2. Do the math. I should've only made it to the 4th year. But she had faith in me and told me I could take the 3rd year class over the summer. The 3rd year class is the most important because one learns all the verb tenses and how to use them. I did in 3 months what most do in 9 months. It was hard but very worth the cost. I walked into that French 4 class my junior year so proud of myself. But at the same time I felt so alone and outcast. These kids had been in French together for 4 years now and I was the new kid.

I survived French 4 and French 5 (I said lots of prayers for help) and was blessed enough to pass the AP test. Learning French has taught me to push myself harder than I think I can go, to believe that I can do hard things, and to push on when the homework gets thick and heavy. I'm grateful for the Lord's hand in what seemed to be a small choice back then and that has now become a part of my everyday life.

So, what's the moral? I don't know. But je peux vous parler en français, s'il vous plaît.

Everyday is a New Day

As most people know, I don't sleep much. I rarely get 8 hours of sleep and the average during high school was about four to five hours. Sleep is an important part of our everyday lives. Getting "enough" sleep helps us think clearer, learn better, and feel better. However, I'm still happy; I get good grades; and I think clearly most of the time. So how do I do it? He did I survive high school? Sophomore year when I didn't know how to manage my time very well. Junior year when I did three sports and had a hard time doing all my homework. And, senior year with a part time job and 3 AP classes and clubs and organizations that ate all my free time.

Well, I prayed and had faith. That simple. There is a hymn, #85, that says something to the effect of as thy days shall demand so thy succor shall be. I can testify that's true. In order for me to pass all my classes and get twenty college credits senior year I had to do a lot of homework. I had to stay up late and wake up early. Normally, people would be exhausted and unable to function. I was blessed with enough strength to do all that I needed to do. Another part of this story is that I found out that I need to trust that the Lord has control. This year He promised me that I would fall asleep in class but I would never miss anything important. I see that promise as true in high school and also here in college.

So, the moral of this story is to trust. This wasn't the story I was planning on telling but I wanted to write what the Lord needs me to write, and I hope I did. As life becomes more challenging there is more aid available to us. Just pray and believe and realize that things like homework or dishes aren't that bad when we consider it could be worse.

Small worries

Lately I have been thinking of things for which I am grateful. One of the things for which I decided to be grateful was small problems. My problems aren't so bad that I can't sleep at night because I'm worrying about how I'll feed myself in the morning. I have such small problems. I am so grateful for them.

Gratitude, what an interesting idea. What is gratitude? It's recognizing that God's hand is in every little thing around us and then thanking Him for it. Gratitude makes challenges seem easier. It makes a person more happy. I'm grateful for the messes my roommates make and as I listen to them make some crazy food something right now I am excited to see what mess they will have managed to create. Trust me, they are talented.

A long with small problems and gratitude I'm grateful for prayer. Prayers come in many forms and He listens to our problems and will help us through them if we but ask. I say prayers all throughout the day. Most of them are silent and involve nothing more than expressing gratitude for a hard seat in a cold classroom while gaining a college education instead of sitting in a soft seat in jail or somewhere worse. I'm grateful for a lot of things. I love my life. It is so good to be surrounded by people that care about me without realizing it. The roommates I have are so willing so give up their comfort to have prayer every night or so that I can sleep in peace.

God is great. Miracles happen everyday. Prayers are still being answered and when life looks too dark to keep walking, be grateful that you can see and trust that the Lord is watching after you.

Laughing at myself

Last night I was working one of my last shifts at Macey's (the grocery store). I have worked in the dairy department since the beginning of this year. As the night winds down we do something called shrink. Shrink is the scanning of all product that is either expired or damaged and then throwing it all away (it's a shame how much "bad" food gets thrown away). While I was scanning the damaged products, I found yogurts that had blown up over everything, cinnamon rolls with the icing hard and sticky and everything around it. Each time I touched a gross thing I just laughed a little. Then I was throwing away everything and it became the time for 5 two pound containers of strawberry yogurt to go. I throw them in the garbage compactor (nicknamed the "yum"). And by them I mean all but one. One of these containers found away to break open and cover my entire right side. I laughed so hard. And finally, I was walking in the parking lot towards my truck when I thought about the earth. I thought about how beautiful it is but also how beautiful heaven will be. And while picking up a piece of garbage I thought to myself, "This world isn't exactly the prettiest thing on earth." I burst out in laughter, I thought it was so funny! I looked up and hoped that Heavenly Father thought it was as funny as I did. 

That's it. I hope to keep laughing at life. It makes everyday even better. And faith. Faith makes everything better and it builds strong bones.

Why do I have a blog?

Why do I have a blog? That is a good question. I feel like most people will ask this question so I might as well get the answer out right now. I have a few friends who recently have started blogs. I've never really followed anyone's blog before but I started reading these friend's blogs and I enjoyed them. Then last night (Saturday night) after I came home from work I saw something about spreading testimonies through texting, social media, and blogging. And I made the quick decision to start a blog.

Now the real question becomes what will I write in my posts. All of a sudden I have this place where I can write my thoughts about just about anything and people will be able to read them. Some people might like it and some might think it's weird. But either way I'm kind of excited. I do plan on writing about small things that happen throughout the day. Where will I put my big life events? I don't know. But for now let's go with what I said.

So, something small that happened today. I woke up at the perfect time. I have this "thing" where I like to be on-time to everything, which isn't a bad thing. But I also take a long time to get ready in the morning (praying and scripture study and eating take up most of that time). So with nine a.m. church I have to wake up around seven or seven-thirty to be ready in time. Another thing is that I don't use an alarm clock anymore. Proverbs 3:5-6 explains why. So I pray at night to be woken up at the best time in the morning. I woke up a little bit later than I would've wanted but kept faith that the Lord knew what He was doing. And it worked out perfectly because my friends came to walk me to church right as I was about to put on my shoes and leave. Faith, patience, and trust. They're important in everyday life.

Welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoy!

I caved in....

Yes, I now have a blog. It's a weird thought. I've been thinking about starting one for quite some time now, and now I have made the final decision to do it. I just used the word "now" three times in two sentences. I don't know all that I'll post on this. I guess whatever the Lord wants me to. Last night as I sat and talked to a friend about life I realized that life's trials consist of trying our faith and trying our patience. So, be patient and trust that God will help. I can give a lot of experiences to testify to that. Tout sera d'accord means all shall be okay. It's the truth.